So when I recently decided to implement the spiritual discipline of simplicity (in order to prepare myself for a class presentation on the topic), I was reluctant to give thought to the way this would effect my activity on social media. After all, I'm a bit of an introvert, and social media has been the "perfect" way to stay connected with the world while sitting alone in my locked dorm room. (Irony.)
Recently, after deactivating my Twitter account, I've been thinking about the way that I have chosen to portray myself on social media: what I've done right, where I've gone wrong, what I would do differently. All of these thoughts have led me to writing this post: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Posting On Social Media.
1. What are my intentions?
This question has been one of the greatest challenges for me. Because often times, as it turns out, my intentions while tweeting were not Godly. At all. In fact, many of my tweets were passive-aggressive in nature. Social media can so easily become a place to vent our frustrations and criticisms without facing the consequences of our actions! Are you seeking to hurt someone with your words? Are you seeking to make someone jealous? To make someone feel guilty? To shame someone for their sins?
2. Does this accurately portray who I really am?
Even as a wonderful Christian man or woman who loves the Lord, I can guarantee that there are a few discrepancies between who you are on social media and who you actually are. So, take a moment right now and ask yourself a couple of questions... How do you portray yourself on social media? Who are you actually? And then reflect on the question that has been pulling on my heart for awhile now... How big is the gap in between those two versions of yourself?
3. Will this post alienate someone?
Will your slightly inaccurate statuses about your "perfect relationship" mislead young couples into believing that having occasional arguments makes them inferior? Will the "harmless" racist joke that you're sharing break the heart of someone you love? Will your posts with pictures of aborted babies and comments about women who have had abortions being "murderers" bring shame to a woman who has never forgiven herself for her mistakes? Will your posts comparing homosexuality and bestiality push someone even further away from the church? Discernment is everything.
4. Am I being modest?
This should be so simple, ladies: Don't show any part of your body that a normal t-shirt and shorts wouldn't cover. No cleavage. No bikini pictures. No pictures of yourself in a sports bra, or cut-off shirt. This isn't a matter of preference if you're a Christian. It's a matter of holding yourself to a biblical standard that is clearly spelled out over and over throughout scripture! (See Proverbs.) Can you imagine Jesus looking at the picture that you're posting and being pleased with you? And I'm sorry... but this includes you, beautiful pregnant women. I understand how proud you are that your body is experiencing this incredible miracle... (seriously, you ladies are rockstars)... but this doesn't excuse you from the same biblical standards that we should all be upholding. A shirtless photo, or a photo of your naked belly, is just not modest. It isn't. Save these precious images for your husband. (You both deserve that kind of privacy!)
In addition to dressing modestly, are you speaking with modesty as well? Men, refrain from posting status after status about how "sexy" your muscles are, or about how you've "been in your boxers all day". Ladies, don't announce to the world that you're on your period, or that you "love to sleep naked". Why in the world would you want to create those images for other people?
5. Is this a moment that I need to protect?
This one is huge. The greatest example I have of this is my engagement. My fiancee proposed on Christmas Eve of last year. It was an incredible night that I will carry in my heart for the rest of my life. That night, we called our closest friends and family to tell them the news. However, we waited to share it with our friends on social media until the next day. And it was awesome! It was so fun to have that whole night of feeling like our lives were secrets to the rest of the world. It was such an intimate experience that we were able to share with only those who meant the most to us. When we did announce it, we made the decision to only tell "the engagement story" to those who asked us in person. We never posted the story on social media at all, and it was so rewarding! I never felt like I was robbed of the experience of being engaged. I felt a sense of privacy and intimacy regarding my relationship that I had never had before! (And by the way, Kevin did an AMAZING job with the proposal... so it was extremely hard to keep the story to myself.)
I see this mostly with relationships and children. I see so many people, young ladies especially, sharing screenshots of conversations that they've had with their boyfriends/ husbands. And many times, they make me smile. (I'll admit... I'm a hopeless romantic.) But many times, I cringe. If I knew that my fiancee was going to post any sweet thing that I said on social media, it would most definitely change the genuineness of my words. Why risk the authenticity of your relationship?
I've also noticed a trend of people (including myself) posting things while they are happening. Examples: "Having an amazing heart-to-heart with my bestie!" "Enjoying cuddling with my kids on the couch!" Now, I would like to consider myself a bit of an expert in this field. I am so guilty of doing this. Although I technically experience the things that I post about... do I really experience them? I allow myself to become so distracted by the need to share things on social media that I miss the wonderful things happening right in front of me. This robs both myself and the people I love of so many memories.
It's important to keep in mind that we will all fail at this. Probably multiple times. (Probably all the time.) BUT, it's also important that we seek the Lord's guidance in what we post on social media! As Christians, we must stand out from this world by choosing our words differently and with the kind of love that scripture demands of us.
Matthew 12:36 "But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken."
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